Latent Questions - Creation

Dear God,


What were you up to before you created the universe?

How did you come about the Adam and Eve (man meets woman) concept?

If we were created in your image and likeness, do you have a penis?

If Adam hadn't shown signs of loneliness, would you have created woman?

What were the other alternatives you considered before settled for woman?

So the other planets are just hanging there, just for show? Were you being creative or were you just showing off?

Why so vast a universe? You seem to like confusing us.

If you didn't want us to know good and evil, why did you plant that tree - especially right in the middle of the garden??

So I don't quite understand how Adam could just name so many animals; what kinda name is hippopotamus??!!

If we were still in the garden of Eden, what would procreation be like: where would it take place (randomly like dogs?), how would we pair up? Would there be such a thing as polygamy?

If Adam and Eve were the first of mankind, how did their son, Cain, find a woman in another town to marry? Did Adam and Eve procreate sporadically or were you busily moulding more clay on some other part of the earth?.... WAIT! now I've got it! You WERE busy moulding clay, that's how you appeared in the garden after they had sinned. I've always known that if you had been watching, you'd have prevented that sinful act in some way.

What's the big deal in eating a fruit anyway? You could have hidden the knowledge of good and evil on another planet instead. Maybe man would've been naive for a longer time until we discovered how to space-travel. Now you see, since Eden, the world had had to got through a lot of issues. You like the drama, don't you?
How did Adam know what to 'do' with Eve? Did she come with a manual?

So let's get this straight: Out of eternal boredom or something else you made the world, put unblemished humans in a garden, planted a very tempting tree right in the middle and let a 'serpent' loose on them?... Something is definitely wrong here. Either you are a puppet master who experiments with his toys or the Author of Genesis was NUTS!

I'll settle for the latter because I've known you for a while now and you're no puppet master. My questions still hold but I'll wait till I see you so we discuss them over a heavenly brunch? Do you have sushi or Chinese food in heaven?