Conviction

Dear God,

I was having a discussion with a friend about faith, religion and belief. First of all let me say that he's willing to believe in You if only he gets logical answers to his questions. He's just very technical and doesn't want to believe that there are some things that cannot be logically explained... Before I continue, let me just say THANKS for seeing me through last year and letting me smell 2010. I'm sure for you the year passed within the blink of an eye. That must've been a very LOOOOONG blink!!

So this guy thinks religion is just a hoax that has influenced the whole world and created some sort of stereotypical behaviour that's supposed to create and maintain social order. Truthfully Lord, he made a lot of logical sense. He also made sense when he said that when we're socialised in a family that practises a particular faith then that's what we'll automatically believe is the right one and what shows Christianity is the true worship of God and not Islam or Buddhism. After all they are all worshipping a higher being and your justification for one religion is as good as for the other. Or yet still, is there a God that is so all-knowing that he could predict the future and didn't do anything to stop the devil from causing so much chaos in the world?

Lord, I almost doubted your existence one but I jumped right back into your arms. While I was wondering and trying to lose my faith, these exact same question came to mind and oh my God, they were so strong and logical. But for grace I would've concluded there's no You and life is just a big mystery that would be figured out sooner or later. But then I began to consider the things no one has been able to explain, things that are obviously not hallucinations or tricks of the mind. How the firmaments are beautifully formed and how no one can ever figure out how the universe came to be and how far it stretches. I remembered the days that I knelt down and prayed and had instant amazing breakthroughs. I recalled the joy that I feel when I'm in your presence, the indescribable serenity and security that engulfs me when I cry out to heaven for help. All these little things that the scientists and atheists can't explain are proof enough that you are Alpha and Omega.

I admit, there are things I cannot even attempt to explain. But that's my logical basis for believing in a Supreme Being. What makes me believe in You, my dear Father is the conviction of your Spirit - that conviction that is the source of my faith and love for you. So if I ever incline towards atheism or an ounce of doubt, Lord, convict me!

Faithfully,
Ananse